


And with these aching bones, she fed us full

by Thesuspiciousflyingjellyfish



Series: Shameless Stark AU [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Final Fantasy XV, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Mother-Son Relationship, Multi, Rickon is a sweety, Sansa’s very complicated mindset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesuspiciousflyingjellyfish/pseuds/Thesuspiciousflyingjellyfish
Summary: A look in to Sansa and Rickon’s relationship.
Relationships: Rickon Stark & Sansa Stark
Series: Shameless Stark AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068332
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	And with these aching bones, she fed us full

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a funny au. And then shit got sad.

The Goodwill was decently empty on the Saturday morning that Sansa was shopping in. She had just Rickon with her, sitting in the basket of the cart as she steered through the racks. Sansa was a little surprised that he wanted to spend the day with her, as he normally enjoyed the freedom the weekend gave him to set something on fire. Instead, he was glued to the gameboy in his hands, that Sansa was a hundred percent certain was stolen from a kid at school yesterday.

But if it kept him out of trouble, she wasn’t going to force him to give it back. At least not until Monday.

She hummed to herself as she perused the coat section, knowing all of them needed some newer coats for this winter, having worn the rest down to their linings. And with Arya’s birthday coming up, Sansa was hoping she could find a new replacement for her leather jacket. She knew her sister loved the thing, but there were a lot of suspicious stains that the eldest sibling couldn’t remove, and decided that a new one was the best option.

Her humming went up an octave as she found a jacket that was perfect, and pulled it off the rack. Holding up, she twisted the dark leather around to show Rickon.

“What do you think? For Arya.” She tacked on at the end, and watched as the boy looked up at her and through red curls scrutinised the jacket. Then gave a decisive nod of approval, before ducking back down to focus on his game.

Rolling her eyes fondly, she tossed the jacket onto his head, where he grumbled in annoyance and shoved it off. Grinning, she continued forward, pushing the cart with her.

Passing the jackets -after adding a dark green parka jacket that could fit on all five of the Stark kids, and then another thick woollen hoody, a grey colour, also for all five of them- Sansa moved onto a section of bottoms.

In the Stark family, clothing tended to be mixed around and shared. Besides some key clothing, jackets, shirts, and some jeans and socks, were tossed between the five of them becoming fair game. Practically all of them were hand-me-downs anyways, so no really complained.

Sifting through a rack of shorts, a pair caught her eye, and she snorted at the words written onto the ass of the running shorts. Grinning, she turned them around to show Rickon, who let out a childish cackle at the sight of them. Happy with that sign of approval, she tossed them into the cart as well.

About to move on, she heard a ‘ _psst_ ’ from her left and turned to see a shop worker, who was leaning over the rack between them and eyeing someone just over Sansa’s shoulder. “Hey, isn’t that an ex of yours?”

Sansa bemoaned the fact that it was well known throughout the neighbourhood that she had many, many, exes. So it could be the woman playing a joke on her, but still-

The red-head causally turned over her shoulder and quickly darted her eyes around for a familiar face. Luckily, the man wasn’t fully facing her when she let out a tiny squeak in horror and crouched down to the floor. Hands over her mouth in horror, she looked up at the worker, wide eyes and pleadingly.

Eyes sympathetic, she shooed Sansa along, “I’ll keep an eye out, honey. You just head on up to check out, alright?”

With a strained, but grateful smile, more of a grimace really, Sansa stayed in her weird crouched position, and manoeuvred the cart forward. Rickon, who also ducked down instinctively after seeing her do the same, crawled to her until only the metal cart grating was in between their faces.

“You need to stop dating weird people, Sansa.” He stated seriously.

Gritting her teeth, she hissed back, “Yes. I _know_ that, smartass.”

Her senses were on guard the entire time they were through check out, though she ended up tucking her signature hair into her beanie, Sansa couldn’t stop herself being on edge. The cashier eyed her suspiciously, thinking she was stealing.

Pfft, as if Sansa would be that obvious.

Instead, she placated the woman by just mumbling, embarrassed, “Hiding from an ex.” That got some of the glaring to lessen at the very least, and the cashier hurried up on scanning.

Exiting the store, she hustled Rickon into the car, throwing the bags in the back seat, and got the fuck out of there, breathing with relief.

“ _Soooo_ ,” Rickon began from the passenger seat, turning to face her as a light turned red, “Are you really dating the guy who stole our car?”

Groaning, she thumped her head on the steering wheel. “Why do you have to listen to me and Robb when we talk about serious shit?”

He shrugged, playing with the zipper on his jacket, “Cause it’s interesting? And y’guys never tell us anything.”

Reaching over, she shoved his hat down over his eyes playfully, “Because it’s not good for young ears.” But her eyes were softened to fondness.

He pushed the hat back out of his eyes glaring, “Whatever. _So_?” The way he rose his eyebrow, demanding and casual, was just like how she does it.

The boy mimicked so many of her gestures and body language, that she wasn’t surprised that people thought he was actually her child.

Responding lightly, she turned back to the road as the light became green. “We are going out tonight. To a bar.”

“Which one?” It was not as casual sounding as he hoped it would be and she snorted.

“Oh no, I’m not telling you, you shit.” He grinned at the name, and Sansa felt a grin pulling at her cheeks even as she continued, “I know you little gremlins would just follow me and ruin it.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but you always ruin them anyways so why does that matter?”

Spluttering, she cast a disbelieving glare his way, before flicking her eyes back to the road, “Wha-I! _I_ don’t ruin them! _They do_!”

He flapped his hand dismissively, “Except for like, those guys who are actually okay, but you dump them anyways.”

Still caught of guard, she stumbled over her words, “Yeah but- I didn’t like them anymore.” It was a weak excuse and Rickon knew it.

He looked down, still playing with his zipper. The boys voice was mumbled, and had an undertone of worry. “You move on really quickly. It’s weird. Can’t you just hurry up and find someone you love and stick with it?”

Pulling to a stop at a red light, she turned to him, eyeing the fidgeting boy. With a sigh, Sansa reached over and gently coaxed his head to face her, eyes hesitantly meeting her’s. “Where is this all coming from, Rickon?” She gently asked.

He licked his lips nervously, and couldn’t keep eye contact for long. “I. I hate that you’re always sad.” Then he moved his chin from her fingers, turning to look out the window. “And that you look lonely all the time. And that we have a bunch of weirdos coming ‘round trying to get with you again.”

‘ _He’s worried that they will hurt us?_ ’ Sansa thought, though that didn’t seem to be the right reason. Her thoughts then moved back to his first words. ‘ _Do I really look sad?_ ’

Rubbing at her face tiredly, she looked forward, waiting for the light to turn again. This was a deep conversation to have with someone so young, but she didn’t want to treat him like he was stupid. He was anything but stupid, and hated being babied. Still, Rickon shouldn’t be someone to hold all her problems, and answered the best she could.

Taking a deep breath, she murmured, “I struggle with commitment, Rickon.” And Sansa noticed from the corner of her eye his head turn to her direction, Forging on, she said, “I just, I feel like once I have something good, it’s going to disappear. So I leave first. So I don’t feel that hurt.”

With the amount of lack of true control in her life, she took it out on her relationships, needing to break it up before they do. She needed that control, and knew it wasn’t healthy. But to be honest, it was probably a good thing she broke them off, because a lot of them, even to good ones, demanded things she could not give them.

Like leaving north-side of the city. Leaving her family. She could never do that to them. Never again.

“But it _hurts_ you anyways.” His quiet, confused voice, interrupted her thoughts and she looked back over to him with a sad smile.

“ _Yeah, I know._ ”

Sansa was raising children before she even knew how children were created. In fact, she learnt about periods through an emergency operator. It was a weekend, parents working as always, and for the whole morning she had cramps, though at the time she had thought that maybe something was wrong with her bladder. But with terrible medical insurance, she swore to herself that unless she was bleeding, she wouldn’t make a fuss of it.

Of course now, she knows that logically, that’s a terrible decision, as a lot of problems don’t show themselves via blood. But at the time, the sight of blood was the only outward sign she knew when something was wrong. Like when Arya had tripped and smacked her head, blood practically gushing from the wound. Luckily her parents were home for once and were able to deal with it.

She still got blamed though for not paying her sister any attention.

When she went to the toilet, hoping that may fix the horrible aches, she saw blood. And screamed.

Robb had barged in, and at this point in their lives, they’ve all seen one another naked, with how small the house was in comparison to the size of the family, and had freaked out at her crying. He immediately dialled 911 and gave the phone to her.

In panicked sobs, she explained to the lady on the other end, with Robb standing nearby buzzing with fear and holding her trembling hand. She was filled with confused relief as the woman explained that it was normal and she would be fine.

But what really got her was the first question she had asked. ‘ _Is your mother home?_ ’

Sansa then made another promise to herself, on top of all the other’s she had made through out her life. On top of promising to protect her siblings and put them first. On top of making sure they were fed before her. On top of promising to always soothe their nightmares. On top of all that and more. She promised that she would be there for Arya when her first period came.

And she was. Not her mother. Not an emergency operator. _Her_. Sansa. She was there for her like she always was and would continue to be. 

And she would kill herslef first before allowing any kind of relationship get between her and her kids.

The way Rickon saw his sister/mother, was like this documentary on spiders he once watched. Arya had left the room in disgust, having never really liked bugs, but Rickon was enraptured by what he watched and learnt. There was a behaviour in some spider species where the young ate their mother alive. And she would allow it, because it would mean a chance of survival for her offspring.

That was how he saw Sansa. When she would stumble in from a late shift of her work, and immediately make dinner for them, would listen to their problems, and help them out. Even if she was close to passing out from exhaustion, she would still give herself to them cause they needed her. And then, if there was time in between the three youngest demanding some kind of attention, she would nap shortly before getting up to do her next job.

All of this, to keep them alive. To keep them fed. And Rickon knew that she would push herself to the brink of death if that meant the rest of them lived. That they could metaphorically feast on her corpse if that kept them alive.

And Rickon wouldn’t allow his sister/mother to do that to herself. He knew Robb tried his best, and he did well. But with his work keeping him so busy, there was no time for him to look after Sansa like he used to, with the same amount of concern and attention he normally dedicated to her.

Rickon couldn’t blame his older brother. He knows how things are tough, even at his young age. So if no one could look after Sansa like she looked after them, then Rickon would step up until there was someone else he could trust with taking care of his mother.

**Author's Note:**

> Look the metaphor of Sansa dying to keep them alive, and this weird image of an animal being fed upon by her young just came to my head, so a quick google and i had to learn about spiders. I don’t like spiders my dudes.
> 
> Also, will we ever get to Sansa and her date with Nyx? Most likely not. Cause despite the constant talk of the romance in Sansa’s life, this is a series focusing on the stark fam and their relationships with one another. Also, i promise jon is coming, don’t worry.
> 
> Don’t hate on robb not being there for sansa. Emotional support is hella exhausting, and the way all the kids treat one another and their reliance on sansa is not healthy in general, but that is just the way they live. Robb’s job is taxing, and he himself recognises that he can’t always be there for sansa like he used to. It’s kinda why they all want her to have a stable relationship. So that she had someone to lean on. Not to say that a partner is supposed to take on you emotional baggage all the time, that isn’t healthy. But like i said, none of the starks really have a good view on how relationships are meant to be like, and the world they live in, everyone is a little fucked up.
> 
> What they really need is therapy. And will i give them that? I have no clue
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
